The Conversation You’re Avoiding Is Costing You More Than You Think.
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In many workplaces — especially STEM — there’s an unspoken belief that avoiding conflict and letting things resolve themselves is the respectful thing to do.
Most people don’t avoid hard conversations because they’re careless or indifferent.
They avoid them because they care.
They don’t want to say the wrong thing, appear difficult, or hurt someone.
But the “conversation avoided” is often more expensive than the “conversation had.”
I see this all the time in my coaching work, especially with clients in STEM:
Someone’s performance is slipping.
A teammate is creating tension.
A boundary is being crossed.
When feedback goes unspoken or misunderstandings are ignored, the cost isn’t just emotional discomfort — it shows up in very real ways:
* Misaligned projects
* Bottlenecks and delays
* Eroded trust and morale
* Missed opportunities
* Top talent quietly walking out the door
Many clients have believed that holding back was the respectful thing to do.
They worried about damaging relationships or assumed the issue would resolve itself.
After all, they work in tech or science, not law or education — so how much communication could really be needed?
But communication is the foundation of all collaboration. It rarely self-corrects; the gap usually widens.
Here’s the good news:
Difficult conversations don’t have to be destructive.
When approached with attunement and curiosity — both to yourself and to the other person — you can speak what’s true to you in a way that invites connection and collaboration, not defensiveness.
I’ve seen it play out over and over:
The conversation avoided for months often takes only 20 minutes to resolve — and opens doors that have been closed for much longer.
And this isn’t about being “naturally good at communication.” It’s a skill that can be learned, practiced, and refined.
So if there’s a conversation you’ve been avoiding, ask yourself:
* What is it already costing me?
* What might become possible if I had it?
What helps you initiate the conversations that matter? Reach out if you need support.
