The Five Toltec Agreements

A few months ago, a friend introduced me to The Five Toltec Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Since then I have used them in my self-reflection as well as in my coaching work with clients.

Here is a summary of the five agreements:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
Speak with integrity, honesty and transparency. Refrain from gossip and unnecessary complaining or criticism. Be aware of the power of your words and use them to build rather than destroy.

2. Don’t take anything personally.
You are not responsible for what others do or say. They are responsible for their actions, just like you are responsible for yours. When you refrain from taking things personally, you are able to take responsibility for what you can actually control – yourself – and you greatly reduce needless suffering.

3. Don’t make assumptions.
Refrain from assuming that you know; misunderstandings are common. It’s more effective to ask questions to check for understanding than to make assumptions and jump to erroneous conclusions.

4. Always do your best.
Regardless of circumstances, always do your best at any given time. It will change from moment to moment based on our well-being, life circumstances, and seasons of life. When you simply do your best, you can greatly avoid the spiral of self-judgement and have more compassion for yourself.

5. Be skeptical, but learn to listen.
Practice questioning what you think and experience, and refrain from believing yourself or anyone unconditionally. Use healthy doubt to ask “Is it really true?” Learn to pause your inner chatter and allow your inner silence to arise. Listen to a deeper source of knowing and to life itself.

How about sticking the Five Agreements on your refrigerator and observing how they play out in your life?