Self-Care vs Coping

Ever since my attention was brought to the difference between self-care and coping during my training in Peer Counseling in 2008, I have looked more carefully at the activities I engage in "to relax."

As a person with a sensitive nervous system, following a rigorous regimen of self-care has proven to be essential in my life. A lot of trials and errors and multiple falling off the wagon and bouncing back have occurred; yet I always (sometimes begrudgingly) come back to my self-care practices. Ongoing self-care is essential if I want to live the life I feel called to live.

So what's the difference between self-care and coping?

Well, what's the difference between journaling after a stressful day and eating ice-cream straight out of the tub?

Self-care practices build our reserves up whereas coping strategies simply tide us over. Coping allows us to deal with difficulties in the short-term while self-care maintains and replenishes our reserves in the long-term.

Coping strategies have an important role to play in times of crisis, but they contribute to draining us over time because they usually involve covering up the painful emotions that we can't deal with in the present.

Occasionally taking our mind off a triggering event is fine; consistently numbing out thoughts and feelings will have disastrous consequences in the long-term, as emotions must be processed to be released. If they are not, their energy will get stuck in our organism and eventually lead to a lot of physical, emotional, and relational problems.

I'm looking at you, tension headache, panic attack, short temper, weight gain,...

Although self-care activities can certainly “feel good” in the moment, they usually require intention, commitment, and therefore some sacrifice, since their purpose is not to gratify us in the present moment but rather to build long-term reserves that we will be able to rely on in times of difficulties.

Now, how can you build up your reserves of energy? What do you need to do to nourish your body, your heart, your mind, and your spirit?

What’s the proper self-care regimen for you at this time? And most importantly, what first small step you can take to get started?