How We Spend Our Days Is How We Spend Our Lives
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Time flies, and time flies faster and faster as we age. It's essential to make our time count in ways that matter to us, and if it has not already, this process must start now!
Organizing our life is essential to ensure that the sum of the days we live in the here and now ends up amounting to a life that we will actually be happy to have lived decades down the line. We do not want to wake up at 80 and realize that we spent our whole life either asleep or in emergency mode, always hoping for circumstances to change to accomplish what matters to us and feel fulfilled.
A lot of people value their relationships with family and friends. Even if you are not very relational, do you know that the most common regret mentioned in hospice care is not having invested enough time in relationships? Living the life that we want to live and having enough time and energy to nurture satisfying relationships require organization, because if we value our relationships and want them to last, we'll need to make our days reflect these values by dedicating focused time to our relationships on a daily basis.
And the most important relationship to nurture is with our own self.
Are you actively creating time in your day-to-day life to take care of yourself and nurture your relationship with the precious people in your life? Does it actually show up in your calendar, alongside all your other commitments?
Limiting our organization to simply filling up a calendar with appointments and deadlines imposed by others is unfortunately likely to lead to one of two undesirable outcomes:
Not-too-busy people might end up having plenty of time for self-care and relationships, but they might find themselves spending their abundant free time with daydreaming and random activities that more often than not do not align with how they actually would like to live their life.
Busy people are at risk of spending their days running from one commitment to the next, like a firefighter trying to put off as many fires as possible in as little time as possible. Some activities may align with long-term intentions, but self-care and relationships are likely to be neglected.
Over the years, as I went from not-too-busy to very engaged in my life, I created a system to organize my time purposefully in order to live - on a daily basis - a life aligned with my life purpose, but also well balanced and grounded in adequate self-care.
This process requires the willingness to commit to our own self.
In my system, there are 5 levels of organization:
1. Life
What would make my life a great life? What is my purpose or mission statement for my life? What principles do I want to ground my life on?
Answering these questions is crucial to develop a crystal clear sense of direction on how we are going to live our life. Although the "what" is not always clear - or under our control - the "how" can certainly be. Look at the Japanese concept of Ikigai for inspiration.
Tip: These questions could be answered in a journal entry or by creating a piece of art (think poetry, collage, calligraphy, photography, etc).
2. Year
What do I want to accomplish this year? Do my career, finances, household, relationships, development or continued education need attention? What action step(s) can I take next year to make progress on the long-term goals aligned with my life purpose?
One year is one cycle of human life, and therefore it's the perfect level to start reflecting on the organization of our life. At the end of each year, make a list of goals that are realistic to accomplish in the next twelve months and create a flexible schedule for when each goal will be addressed and worked on. If you need help to decide what areas(s) of your life need focus, consider using the wheel of life.
Tip: A simple three-column Excel spreadsheet or Word document can suffice for this level of organization. The list of goals can go in the first column, their projected deadline (month or even simply season) in the second column, and a status update in the third column.
3. Month
How does the next month look like? What are the non-negotiable commitments and obligations to take care of? Any event(s) to plan for? When is there some free time to work on yearly goals that have been scheduled for this month? What kind of support will I need this month?
It's at the level of the month that we can start allocating our time deliberately and purposefully. In a month, there are ongoing commitments, recurring obligations, and special events to schedule, but we must also allocate time for what matters to us in the long-term.
At the end of each month, go over the next month's commitments and schedule time slots to work on your goals for the year. If needed, cancel less important activities to make time to work on your long-term goals that align with the vision you have for your life. And yes, if a yearly goal of yours is to have more rest and relaxation you’re indeed going to schedule large blocks of rest in your monthly schedule! It’s not going to happen if you do not reserve time for it and commit yourself to it.
Tip: A calendar that can be shared between devices and between family members can be really useful to organize at the level of the month. However the most important is finding the method that truly works for you, so try out a few things until you find what is effective for you.
4. Week
How much time will I work this week? How will I take care of myself? How much time will I devote to my relationships? What do I have to do to keep my household run smoothly? How much time will I invest for my development and education? When will I work on my yearly goals?
If it can be difficult to create balance on a day-to-day basis, it's essential to do it at the week level. Pick a day each week to carefully plan the following week. If you are comfortable with structure or need it to fight off a tendency to get distracted, then hourly scheduling might work well for you. If not, simply writing down what needs to be accomplished for each day of the week with no set time could work better if your activities require more time flexibility, for so long as you are realistic with the number of things you put on your list for each day of the week.
Tip: Creating a template for your typical week(s) is extremely helpful to ensure a reasonable distribution of the 168 hours of the week between self-care, work, relationships, parenting, household management, development and education, commuting, and all the other buffers that must be scheduled between activities to keep things flowing realistically and effectively. This method ensures that we schedule the things that are usually not scheduled, such as self-care activities (sleep, meal prep and meal times, relaxing) and focused time with our loved ones.
5. Day
What do you most value in your life? What are the principles you decided to ground your life on? How can you embody and express them on a daily basis? How are you going to take good care of yourself today while also working on your other projects?
Each day can be lived as a metaphor for a whole life. If we value hard work, we have to take concrete steps to offer our skills to the world on a daily basis. If we greatly care about our spouse and children, we have to give them a daily dose of our full attention and concrete expression of our love. If what we care about is helping others, we have to express these values in some ways, day after day. We must devote daily time slots to our most valued intentions!
This being said, remember that you can’t do everything every day. If you are consistently overwhelmed, you have to learn to lower your ambitions, schedule less things or allocate more time for each activity. Go back and forth between daily and weekly scheduling to make sure that if balance is not reached every day, it’s at the very least reached every week.
Tip: If you resist organization, being creative with the way you approach your daily planning could help you tremendously. For some, a fancy app will be supportive. For others, it's a diary with inspiring quotes that will help create a bit of structure without being too rigid. For you, it might be something else. Try out various methods and choose whatever works for you, but keep in mind that the most effective might be the most old-fashioned one. Paper and pencil, anyone?
In summary, purposeful organization is necessary to live the life you are meant to live, and crucial to have enough time and energy to take care of what you actually deeply value. Being overly organized and structured can certainly stifle creativity and lead to burn out. On the other hand, going too much with the flow can lead to wasting time, living a life that lacks purpose, and neglecting important areas of life such as our self-care and cherished relationships.
May you live the life that you are meant to live!
