The Art of Speaking

In a conversation, the most important element is being willing and able to listen deeply to the other person. Listening helps us understand the other’s perspective and allows us to resist the temptation of making assumptions. Listening gives us a chance to be of service with our words, when the time to speak up is ripe.

Artful speaking is indeed an act of service.

Good questions to ask ourselves when we want to speak up are:

• Am I about to speak from reactivity or from presence?
• What would my words bring to the table in this specific moment?
• Am I about to speak words that are necessary, true and compassionate?

Just like good listening, good speaking comes with the cultivation of presence. When we are present, we are more skillful at speaking when it’s useful and we are better able to have difficult conversations, when a sensitive equilibrium of truth and compassion must be found.

With instant messaging and social media replacing progressively more real-life conversations, we have much less opportunities to hone our listening and speaking skills. However these crucial “people skills” are crucial to personal and professional success and fulfillment.

When leaders don’t listen or speak well, they fail to inspire their teams and employees to greatness.

When intimate partners or friends don’t listen or speak well, they fail to nurture their intellectual and emotional connection.

The 21st century requires of us to develop ourselves into the great communicators that we are meant to be.