Managing Failure

Have you ever worked hard at starting a new habit - or stopping an old one - by creating a solid plan of action, getting effective support, and motivating yourself to stay on track... and yet have fallen off the wagon?

You're not the only one!

It's actually perfectly normal. Working on a new challenge usually involves a few cycles of trial/error and of success/failure. Blame it on that pesky homeostasis.

What's going to make a difference is how we respond to failure.

1. Responding at the cognitive level:

Let's go back to our initial plan of action and assess it. Would starting our new resolution in the spring or summer work better than in winter? Would there be a more suitable day/time to implement our new activity? Would we need additional support?

2. Responding at the emotional level:

The antidote to judgment is compassion, and it's no different when dealing with self-judgment. Showering ourselves with self-compassion is the most effective way to quiet down our inner critic when it's especially harsh in our time of failure.

3. Responding at the physical level:

Bouncing back into action immediately is essential because the longer we wait, the harder it is to get back on track. So we pick ourselves up, we dust ourselves off, and we start again.

Journaling Questions:

• What's my usual response to failing? How does it impact my progress?

• How do I feel physically and emotionally when I experience failure?

• If I fell off the wagon, what actually happened? Did I lose track of my values? Were my logistics off? Did I lack support?

• What changes do I need to make to my initial plan before it makes sense to start again?

• How can I become more compassionate to myself?