Surviving Transitions
/
Our nervous system does not like change at all, and yet it’s incredibly adaptable and flexible.
The nervous system works at its best with routines because it’s more economical to run patterns along well-traveled nerves, and it’s much safer to always be able to predict what’s going to happen next.
When we go through a transition - from a small change like taking a new habit to a massive one like welcoming a new child, changing jobs, or moving to a new area – we give our nervous system a very difficult workout.
The predictability of the regular hum of daily habits disappears and is replaced by the anxiety of not knowing and the energetically expensive requirement to wire new pathways into the nervous system. Even when the change is positive and made willingly, the nervous system is still going to experience it as uncomfortable, and perhaps even threatening.
This is why it’s actually very difficult to change our habits, even seemingly innocent ones. We’re wired for sameness and predictability, and any movement out of pattern can trigger resistance and a pull-back to the safety of the well-known, even if the old habit is not that good for us in the long-term.
How can we navigate more comfortably the inevitable transitions of life, both at work and at home?
1. Be compassionate with yourself
It helps to know that no matter how excited we might be about the upcoming change, our nervous system is not going to like it when it happens. Anticipating this challenge and validating our fluctuating emotions and increased fatigue can greatly support us in navigating the situation with more self-compassion and better self-care.
2. Break it down in smaller parts
If possible, it pays off to break down the transition in smaller parts. Navigating small changes one at a time will make it less intense for the nervous system. It’s not always possible, but it’s worthwhile to try when it is. For example, as soon as you know that you’re going to face a big transition at work, plan a succession of small steps that can be taken to adjust to what can look like an overwhelming future new reality. It’s harder to do when faced with an unexpected painful change or loss, but not always impossible. That’s why we often hear people say: “One day at a time”. It’s a way of breaking down something big whose outcome might not be yet known into more manageable chunks.
3. Soothe your nervous system
Because changes trigger the nervous system into the fight/flight/freeze mode, every little bit counts to relax it as much as possible throughout the activation phase. Think about getting as much sleep as possible even if the quality of your sleep is affected, making a point of having super healthy meals, taking magnesium supplements orally or by soaking in a bath spiked with Epsom salts, and taking regular breaks throughout the day to breathe deeply and relax the body as much as possible.
The good news is that our nervous system is highly adaptable. Its plasticity is what allows us to learn and adjust to whatever happens, even when it’s very difficult at first or when we get older. We can rely on the certainty that eventually the new routine will be wired into our system, and that what was once threatening has become the new normal.
Do you struggle in times of transition? Coaching is the perfect support to navigate changes and transitions. Contact me for a free consultation if you’d like to explore my coaching services.
