Exploring The Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes
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While the core of the Enneagram is the detailed description of the nine basic types, the system adds a bit more nuance (and complexity!) by taking the three human survival instincts (also called subtypes) into consideration.
The three instinctual subtypes are very old survival strategies patterned into our nervous system to survive in the world.
- Self-preservation: it’s the drive to take care of one's personal needs for shelter, food, security, etc.
- One-on-one (also unfortunately called "sexual"): it’s the drive to form one-on-one relationships; friendships and intimate relationships.
- Social: it’s the drive to develop a sense of belonging within a larger group, tribe or community.
Just like for our basic Enneagram type, as individuals we tend to unconsciously favor one of these strategies for survival, at the detriment of the two remaining ones.
Because there are three instincts, we can find six different stackings of preference, where the first instinct is our “favorite one” - the one we over-use, the second instinct is the one we use “just right”, and the third instinct is the one that is under-developed and that we therefore "ignore" or under-use.
Here are the six possible stackings that we can have:
- self-preserving / one-on-one / social
- self-preserving / social / one-on-one
- one-on-one / self-preserving / social
- one-on-one / social / self-preserving
- social / self-preserving / one-on-one
- social / one-on-one / self-preserving
These patterns of survival strategies exert enormous influence on our behavior and on the way we engage with others, in personal relationships as well as professional ones.
For example, because self-preserving individuals focus on taking care of their owns needs, they prioritize their comfort and their own way of doing things, and they unconsciously expect the same from others. They bring independence and self-sufficiency to the table.
On the other hand, one-on-one people's survival strategy favors alliances between two people, an "us against the world" kind of mindset. They unconsciously seek others to form one-on-one relationships with them, for both productivity and intimacy. They bring intensity and intimacy to the table.
Finally, social people's focus is on being part of tribes and communities. They enjoy being part of larger groups and working together towards a common goal. They bring a sense of unity and cooperation to the table.
In terms of personal development, each instinct is of course good and useful. However, because of the unconscious drive to over-use our preferred survival strategy, we are at risk of missing the mark in our relationships and decision-making process because of our "addiction" to a certain instinct. The second/middle instinct in our stacking is actually the healthiest and most balanced, which makes it a good one to rely on more often. Finally, because we tend to ignore our least developed instinct, it becomes a blind spot and gets in the way of our development and relationships.
In professional relationships, teams made of a variety of people are the most effective because they naturally leverage the power of each instinct. Teams benefit from all types of people: self preserving, one-on-one and social. However, it can be difficult for people operating from very different instinctual drives to understand one another and work in harmony together. For example, a self-preserving individual might be overly attached to their own way of thinking, and reluctant to defer to a consensus decision that would work well for the whole team.
In personal relationships, two partners with very different stackings of survival instincts are at risk of misunderstanding one another and not feeling loved the way they need it most. For example, a one-on-one person might have a hard time understanding the need for solitude of a self-preserving partner, or the need of a social partner to spend a lot of time within their favorite community. They might believe that their partner don't love them if they need to spend so much time engaged in their own projects or with their tribes.
Understanding our drives gives us the ability to understand ourselves and others better, which in turn helps us harmonize our relationships, both personal and professional.
It also allows us to rebalance our instincts: by grounding ourselves in our middle/most healthy survival strategy, we can release our addiction to our favorite/compulsive drive. And if we can commit to developing our weakest instinct, we could unleash the power of adding a new way of interacting with the world in our developmental toolbox. It's quite extraordinary!
